WHAT IS THIS I DON'T EVEN

I debated what to do for the first post. Something relatively common to save the best for later, my most extravagant of collectibles you'll see no where else... so many amazing possibilities!

Instead I decided to do the most disturbing thing I have on hand.


AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

No, I did not mutilate two horrible figures and solder them together to make this. This is one freaking figure.





I walked into my local used game/import shop and was shocked to find this thing staring me down. The owner wanted 5 bucks for it- I cringed at the thought, but I knew I would never have another chance to document this thing again. I caved and bought it along with a copy of Megaman 64.













What ISN'T wrong with this thing? It's got Mario's face structure and "M" logo, but Luigi's hat color and mustache. We can call it Maluigi. I still can't figure out what's going on in this scene,
either. Did Maluigi kill the Goomba, and is now using its skin for warmth? Did the Goomba kill Maluigi, and is carrying away his severed head in victory, which is why he looks so smug?


I just don't know.


I thought I could get some clues from who made this bootleg POS (piece of sludge) by looking on the bottom...


...nope.

No copyright, no date... just one of those holes they put in squeaky toys. Only it doesn't have a squeaker. And the thing is so hard you can't even push any air out.

This thing REALLY disturbs me. I mean, REALLY. I took it to school and everyone was so disturbed they almost cried.

Still, I'm happy I got it. I don't know where else you would get one of these things. As long as I don't stare into it's eyes, I'll be fine.



Don't stare... in it's...



eyessssssssssssssssssss